Where's Mitch?
Why we're being kept in the dark about Mitch McConnell's latest health crisis
Mitch McConnell is unwell.
Of course, I could have told you that a long time ago. The 84-year-old Kentucky Senator has been exhibiting signs of cognitive and physical decline for years. But this summer, his health problems have taken a turn for the worse — and, as always, his handlers are desperate to cover it up.
On the morning of June 14th, McConnell was found unconscious in his home and promptly rushed to a nearby hospital. It’s been nearly seven weeks since then, and he still hasn’t been discharged.
It’s unclear what specifically is ailing him. On the day he was hospitalised, spokesperson David Popp issued the following vague statement: “Senator McConnell was admitted to the hospital this morning. He is receiving excellent care.”
Some have reported that he had a heart attack. Others, like zionist lunatic Laura Loomer, have claimed that he is brain-dead. (I never thought I’d say this, but Laura Loomer might actually be right).
On July 2nd, two and a half weeks after his initial hospitalisation, McConnell’s office issued a second statement:
Senator McConnell appreciates the outpouring of support he’s receiving while he continues his recovery in the hospital. The Senator continues to improve, and is working closely with his staff on Kentucky and Senate matters while the Senate is out of session.
On July 7th, in an apparent attempt to prove that McConnell is totally fine (and not totally comatose), a spokesperson for Senate Majority Leader John Thune announced that he had spoken with McConnell the day prior, and “they had a lengthy and substantive conversation that covered a variety of topics, including national security.”
Kate Noyes, a spokesperson for Majority Whip John Barrasso, simultaneously issued a similar statement, claiming that the Senators had also “had a lengthy conversation” that “lasted roughly 20 minutes,” and covered a variety of topics including “the latest news impacting Senate races, the Graham Platner scandal, and the recent Supreme Court ruling on coordinated spending limits.” Noyes concluded that McConnell “was fully engaged and is eager to get back to the Senate.”
Then, as if on cue, conservative commentator Scott Jennings tweeted that he had also spoken with McConnell that day — and that their conversation had lasted for about 20 minutes, too.
Hmm, that’s a busy phone line. What are the odds that both Jennings and Barrasso spoke with McConnell for the exact same length of time — and why did they both feel the need to even include that detail?
Kentucky Representative Thomas Massie, who is seemingly the only U.S. politician with an actual sense of humour, couldn’t help but join in on the fun:
I have to say, the image of McConnell engaging in lucid conversations about the state of our country from his hospital bed is a tad hard to believe. The guy can’t even make it through press conferences without freezing mid-sentence and staring vacantly off into space.
This would almost be unbelievable if we didn’t have the video evidence. This was him in July 2023:
And again in August 2023:
Why would a man who struggles to finish his sentences when he’s outside the hospital suddenly be able to have cogent, lengthy discussions about current affairs when he’s inside the hospital?
On July 12th, the one-month anniversary of McConnell’s hospitalisation, his office attempted to do further damage control. They released a photo of him and his wife, Elaine Chao, (with a strategically placed newspaper dated that day), along with a lengthy statement that we are meant to believe was written by McConnell himself.
In the statement, McConnell claimed that he was initially hospitalised because he “took a fall”:
My doctors have confirmed that I didn’t break any bones or suffer a concussion. I didn’t have a heart attack or a stroke. I don’t have any tumors or hemorrhages. But I was briefly unconscious and was taken to the hospital. While receiving excellent care over the past several weeks, I’ve also had to deal with a mild case of pneumonia.
Of course, this doesn’t prove anything. The photo could have easily been doctored, and McConnell’s statement — which is 479 words long — was almost certainly written by one of his aides.
And anyway, why would taking a tumble (which apparently resulted in neither broken bones nor a concussion) warrant a seven-week-long hospital stay, regardless of whether he contracted “a mild case of pneumonia” or not? When you think about the story they’ve constructed for longer than a few seconds, none of it makes any sense.
On July 26th, McConnell’s office released a second photo. This one’s even less convincing than the first. It features McConnell and Chao sitting in almost the exact same position, only this time they’re wearing different shirts. I may not have definitive proof that this photo is AI, but my gut instinct tells me that it is.
Regardless of what you believe has happened to McConnell, I think we can all agree that this whole situation is very bizarre. Clearly, there is something we aren’t being told — but why? I mean, seriously, can’t this 84-year-old geriatric patient just retire already?
Well, here’s one theory: if McConnell’s office admits that he is unable to fulfil his duties as Senator before August 3rd , then a special election would need to be called to immediately replace him (before the general election on November 3rd), and it’s likely that Thomas Massie would win this.
Given that McConnell is an utter slave to the pro-Israel lobby (he has accepted a staggering $992,646 from pro-Israel pacs), and Massie is one of its biggest critics, it’s clear to see why our zionist-controlled political elites would be desperate to prevent that from happening. As long as they maintain the facade that McConnell is recovering in the hospital until after August 3rd, then they avoid the risk of Massie taking his place in the Senate. In May, we saw the depraved lengths they went to screw over Massie in the Kentucky primary. If they are capable of lying about an election, they are capable of lying about anything.
In addition to missing 38 votes in the Senate during his hospital stay, McConnell also missed the sudden death of one of Israel’s most crazed supporters, Lindsey Graham, who died from “a brief and sudden illness” on July 11th (which is definitely not code for “an airstrike in Ukraine”).
With Mitch McConnell confined to his hospital bed and Lindsey Graham finally acquainting himself with the nine circles of hell, it seems that Israel’s aging fan-base is slowly but surely dying off. It won’t be long before the younger generations begin to take their place in Congress. Given that 63 percent of voters aged 18-34 now have a negative view of Israel, the genocidal state will have to work harder than ever to maintain its grip on our once-free country.
Americans deserve to know the truth, but I sadly doubt we ever will. Our entire lives, we’ve been told to feel grateful that we live in a free democracy, but anyone who has been paying attention knows that we don’t live in a democracy; we live in the illusion of a democracy. And as long as zionists keep their claws firmly embedded inside every major American institution, that illusion will never become a reality.
If McConnell’s resignation is announced shortly after August 3rd, then we will know the reason why.
Let the countdown begin.